I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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