shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
