This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
