Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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