Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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