Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Someone came in the potted fern
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
