best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
