how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
as a side note pls kill me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
