Cold hands, warm shart.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
