It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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