clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
