hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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