i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
