can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
