It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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