I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
