Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
