I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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