I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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