4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
