turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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