How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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