That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
