Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How external is "for external use only"?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
