Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
