i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
