what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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