The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
