I hate your face
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
