do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
