Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
