I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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