Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
