He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
