i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
