I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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