So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
