dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize