Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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