okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
