he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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