Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
