yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
