I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
