Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
