i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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