I'm drive I can fine osifer
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
