She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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