Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
