I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ladies don't puke and tell
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
