I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
