How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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