good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
