i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
don't judge my taste in strippers
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
