If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
