I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
