I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
