You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
