Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
