i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
