everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
