If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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