she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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